Titles Are Simply Societal Convention and Overrated by Fall Out Boy
by thesnowyowl13
Summary: Even after facing scores of dangerous situations, hundreds of horrible challenges, any amount of frightening dimensions that would have left the bravest of heroes cowering in fear, Penn Zero finds the most terrifying thing he's ever done, is take Sashi Kobayashi out on a date.


**Yes this is a Penashi fic.**

 **So I was both very tired and in a dreadful amount of pain while writing this on merely a whim, but it turned out better than anticipated. I also apologize for my grammar, it has always been exceedingly bad,**

 **Things to note.**

 **• They're about 16 here**  
 **• they've already revealed their feelings for each other**  
 **• and shared a few kisses both before and after the fact**  
 **• Penn just is just a dweeb and wants to be official about things so**

* * *

 _He honestly couldn't believe they were doing this;_

countless missions,

dangerous situations,

narrow escapes.

This, however, was literally the scariest thing they had ever done.

Maybe it was because those other times had been accidental, no mission started out overly disastrous (usually) but simply evolved to that point with a cascading set of circumstances.

Maybe it was because they had chosen, purposely to do this.

Though to be sure this had not started out disastrous either, but simply crescendoed into a series of mishaps that lead to the awkwardness he was surrounded by.

What had he gotten himself into?

One look to his left reminded him that he was not suffering through such a thing alone, at least.

What had _they_ gotten themselves into?

Though just a small smile from his companion, reminded him that maybe, just maybe this was all worth it.

* * *

It had started out simple enough.

After weeks of stuttering and nervous sweating and the same pep talk from Boone at least seventeen times give or take.

He had stopped her at the door of the Odyssey after another day saved.

She had eyed him curiously, but knowingly, and he had again almost lost his nerve.

But she had just laughed her golden laugh and said very clearly;

"I'd love to, Penn."

"I haven't asked the question yet."

"You don't think I haven't noticed you've been trying for weeks to ask me out?"

"I kinda hoped that you didn't — wait, that was a yes?"

And maybe, just maybe, Penn Zero's hair seemed a bit more springy that day, in all the joyous excitement to be afforded to a boy who just had half a dream come true.

The fateful night came as our young part time hero fidgeted anxiously in wait for his date to come pick him up.

Now most would figure Penn would be the one to be setting out to the Kobayashi residence, as tradition dictates, but most do not know Sashi Kobayashi, who in most cases is the furthest thing from traditional.

A ring of the doorbell left our young Zero in a frenzy of fear, one that had been building for days.

For after the initial euphoria of achievement at a long standing goal, he was reminded that this was only phase one.  
Boone had unknowingly instilled the doubts in him when he brought up the fact that, tonight's date was only the first, and the goal was **not** already achieved. the goal was to get a second date, leading to a third, perhaps a fourth, even a fifth, or however many it took until both parties were securely ready to;

"commit or quit" (Boone's exact words).

The first date was merely a pre-cursor, an ice breaker, a get-to-know-you-game-on-your-first-day-of-Middle-School. The time you small talked and learned the mutual interests, the basics, the outer shell.

This in itself seemed somewhat trivial and unnecessary to Penn. He didn't need to play 'getting to know yous' with Sashi. He had known her for more than half his life! Not just known her either, but had truly **KNOWN** her. more than acquaintances, more than friends, and as tonight clearly seemed to show, sometimes more than best friends.

If it was all trivial and unnecessary there was nothing to worry about right?

But the doubts still plagued Penn's mind, even if he did know Sashi, there was still the chance that perhaps he had been **TOO LUCKY** as to even get her to consider spending an evening with him, and therefore anything further in-between them rested upon whether the date was a disaster or not, or more specifically **HE** was a disaster, a disappointment, a wreck.

His nervousness had overtaken him, and when he heard the front door open, and the voice of his enthusiastic parents greet the girl who his admiration for had become apparent to them long before, he briefly contemplated escaping through a window.

Maybe she had sensed it, maybe she just knew him that well, or maybe she just got tired of waiting.

But somehow, not even 10 minutes after his mother had called him downstairs, and he had finally gave in to the side of his brain that wanted to run, he turned to the window to find a pair of very familiar eyes glaring at him. Though the laughter that lurked behind the first glance set him at ease.

 _Maybe he could do this._

Or Maybe not

It helped his already fragile state of mind very little when she had dragged him downstairs only to be stopped in the hallway for pictures by what couldn't be denied to be the two biggest 'shippers' of our two young part timers in existence.

Their well meaning advice only left his face as red as his hair, and even Sashi looked a little flustered after the insinuations and tips for the best seat in the movie theater to 'get cozy' without interruptions, or the best place to park after dinner to 'talk'.

They did concede that sixteen year olds tended to do many reckless things, and when his father whispered to him to 'be responsible' while placing a familiar, only from health class, square packet in his palm. Penn was very sure he might just faint right then and there.

With a hurried goodbye two exceedingly crimson countenanced youth, had set off on their mutual taste of adult life. Hoping that the awkwardness would soon wear off, but they were in for quite a night.

They started with dinner, nothing too fancy. It was simply the littlest, dimly-lit, Italian pizzeria in town. Which was indeed favorited by many of Middleberg's adolescent crowd, for their inexpensive menu, and their private atmosphere.

However with Penn's nerves and Sashi's leftover awkwardness, the meal was silent as the grave, except for the little comments on the food, or the music.

It was worse than average first date small talk, for they could not even revert to the getting to know yous, they knew everything about one another already, and neither could figure out why it had never been this hard to carry a conversation before.

Penn was feeling impending doom. Surely this was disastrous, and Sashi would never want to do this again. However, it was when the meatballs came that things became interesting.

They had brought out the check in record time, whether they could sense that the teen's pocketbook was almost non-existence or they understood that they would wish to leave as soon as they finished so as to catch the movie showings, the check and meatballs had arrived at the same time.

"I'll cover it." Sashi had said and began pulling a small wad of fives from her wristlet.

"No, no I'll cover it." Penn had insisted.

"Penn you don't have to cover it, I mean you can't afford this and the movies, I'll pay for this you pay for the movie okay?" She began counting them out again when Penn stopped her.

"No Sash, I'm serious, I have enough, the gentleman always pays."

"In the 19th century maybe, but Penn this is today, and a woman can pay for dinner if she wants to, or do you not believe in equality?"

"No, no it's not that, I just want to pay for it, it's the right thing to do!"

"Well maybe I want to do the right thing too! Why should you have to pay for everything? That's not fair to you, or to me!"

Sashi had brought her hand down hard on the table with the last syllable and somehow on her fork resting precariously on her plate, and on the end of said fork her meatball was waiting to be enjoyed.  
With a quick motion of physics and unintended skill, the small ball of beef launched up in the air, landing softly with a 'flomp' upon the springy head of the irritated young gentleman.  
Both sides were silenced for a moment, until Sashi couldn't contain herself any longer, and infectious giggle broke through her formerly fiery attitude.  
The extra large meatball sat perched on the poor boy's head, looking quite triumphant as it's marina covering oozed out into the ginger locks.  
A small trickle ran down Penn's forehead and to the tip of his nose, till it plopped down onto his plate.  
And after a few moments he couldn't help but laugh too.

It was agreed to split the check and all was forgiven.

However, movies were another story.

It wasn't that they couldn't agree, it was just that they

 _couldn't agree._

The most obvious choice, by the general consensus, was that date night called for a cheesy romance.  
Something along the lines of a Nicholas Sparks novel, or a cliche chick flick, that was supposed to provide enough comedy and semi-nude women to keep the average male audience member's attention span.  
Or of course there was the option of a Teenage-fiction adaption, plenty of angst and enough hipster aesthetic to pacify any indie blogger or instagram junkie.  
However, none of these options appealed to them.

So there was the slightly less obvious choices, the token action movie, the superhero movie, the semi-fictional docudrama, that one about all the monkeys dying.  
Of course being that a date was a clearly grown-up, very mature thing, the latest animated feature was clearly out of the question.

Penn opted for the side of Superhero's, obviously. But Sashi was up for something a little more serious, and a little less misogynistic.

"What's wrong with it?" was Penn's query.

"Well first of all its completely off canon, secondly the only female in the movie is simply used as a plot device, a romantic interest, and a sex symbol! They have taken away any inkling of personality she had in the comics, and only included her because they had to! Do you notice she's the only girl on the team?"

"But Sash, you're the only girl on our team."

Penn realized about a minute after he said it that maybe this wasn't wise to point out.

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?"

"You're not just a plot device!" his voice dropped a little with awkward embarrassment at the next two "a romantic interest, a sex symbol." It regained it's original volume though as he continued "You're one of the most important part's of the team! You fight better than me and Boone combined, you keep us on track with the mission, without you we would never get anything done. You're like a compass," he gave her a small smile "we'd be lost without you Sashi."

All was quiet for a few moments.

"I appreciate that Penn," said the dark haired teen with a flush and a nervous darting of her brown eyes till she fixed them steadily on him with trademark determination "but I still think we should see a different movie."

Penn made a frustrated noise as they looked over the listings again.

But Sashi just smirked.

"So you don't want to see the docudrama, and I don't want to watch that Superhero crap,"

Penn gazed back at her when he heard her change in tone.

"How about this one then?"

It wasn't that they couldn't agree, it was just that they hadn't wanted to admit it.

But once situated in the low light of theater 9 to the opening trailers for every other upcoming film of animated form, they both knew that this was the very best choice.

Until 5 minutes before the movie began they recognized two familiar faces, and even if that was mistaken, there was no mistaking the ever chatty voice of their school principal, not to mention the sidekick of their arch nemesis.  
And there was no mistaking that accompanying the talkative short man was the form of his nastiness himself.

Yes, Larry and Rippen were,  
against all laws of nature,  
seeing the same animated movie  
on the same night,  
in the same movie theater,  
at the same time as our two young adolescents.

Really if it hadn't been so awkward it would have been a ludicrously funny situation. One Penn could've used very well for taunting purposes on their next mission, had it not been that he too was purposely in the same movie.  
Though at least, Sashi pointed out to him, it wasn't so unheard of, of two teens going out to see an animated movie together, even on a date.  
While two grown men, going out to see a movie targeted toward children, youth and families, together, on a date night, was a bit ridiculous.

"Unless of course" she had joked "They're on a date too."

But the moment she had said it both realized that, that was indeed very much the situation. And awkward seemed too light a word.

And things were about to get more awkward.

Larry had turned quite quickly in their direction as he tried to find two seats, and Sashi immediately pulled Penn down out of the line of view.

It wasn't that Penn hadn't ever been this close to her before, no they had shared some very cramped corners in times past, but tonight it seemed a little bit more well, apparent. She was very close, he could smell her hair, _peppermint,_ he noted, _peppermint and ginger_ , it was very nice, Strong, sharp, but sweet. _Much like the girl herself_ , he conceded.

 _He honestly couldn't believe they were doing this;_

countless missions,

dangerous situations,

narrow escapes.

This, however, was literally the scariest thing they had ever done.

Maybe it was because those other times had been accidental, no mission started out overly disastrous (usually) but simply evolved to that point with a cascading set of circumstances.

Maybe it was because they had chosen, purposely to do this.

Though to be sure this had not started out disastrous either, but simply crescendoed into a series of mishaps that lead to the awkwardness he was surrounded by.

What had he gotten himself into?

One look to his left reminded him that he was not suffering through such a thing alone, at least.

What had _they_ gotten themselves into?

Though just a small smile from his companion, reminded him that maybe, just maybe this was all worth it.

"Stay quiet" she ordered. As the sound of Larry's voice got closer and closer.

"This looks like a good row."

"Oh, oh hello."

And suddenly both teens looked up to see a smirking Larry, and a confused, annoyed, then anxious, Rippen.

"Didn't expect to run into you here. What are you two doing here anyway? I mean it is date night and all."

"We could ask you the same question." said Sashi as she yanked Penn off the floor.

Larry noted their still interlocked hands.

"Oh you two finally got together ay? Looks like somebody owes me thirty dollars." He told his companion triumphantly.

Penn broke out of his silent trance.

"Wait you were betting on if we'd get together?"

"Not If," said Larry with a grin "When. And Mr. Romance here, figured you would get the nerve at least two months before now, but I knew how dense you are.

Penn turned to Rippen who had remained in a state of shocked humiliation during this entire exchange "you placed a bet that Sashi and I would get together sooner?" He asked incredulously.

Rippen merely told Larry. "Not another word. And none of this ever happened. Deal?"

"Yeah okay, Deal." Both Penn and Sashi agreed. Though after they awkwardly made their escape to another seat they couldn't contain their mutual laughter.

"Wait," Penn stopped "what does Larry mean by dense?"

"If you need to ask then you just answered your own question."

"You think I'm dense?" He looked like a little hurt puppy and Sashi decided it was a good time to do a little lying.

"No! No no no, you're not dense, you just, need a little extra push, from time to time."

 _She thinks I'm dense_

* * *

No matter the 'suggestions' from Mr. And Mrs. Zero, both decided it would be best if they just went straight home after the movie, though really Penn was going to drop off Sashi at her apartment and walk home from there.

Penn was miserable, every horrendous disaster of the evening replayed over and over in his brain, now that the date was coming to an end, he knew he had a botched it. He knew that she never would want to do this again.  
He sighed dejectedly. And that's when he felt the car stop, but not at it's intended destination.

"Okay PZ, what's wrong?"

"Wrong? Nothing, nothing's wrong. Unless you count all the things that went wrong tonight, my parents, the fight with the meatball, our disagreement over the movie, LARRY AND RIPPEN, me being dense for what? Two, three years? How long do you think they've had that bet going? It all, it all is just wrong, horribly wrong, this entire date just went wrong, and I knew it would. And you probably never want to go on another date with me again, because it will just end up as disaster. And —" he was stopped more or less, as Sashi reached over and took his face in her hands and pulled him in for a kiss.

They had shared a few kisses before, "heat of the moment", and such nonsense excuses. But this was different, for many reasons, one being, they didn't exactly need an excuse.

She pulled away for a moment to look him steadily in the eye "Shut up doofus, I had a great time and we should do it again. And we're going to." Then they were back to it.

"Though next time you can pay for dinner, I owe someone 30 dollars."


End file.
